Slip, sliding along

These are the shoes I wore to work. (please ignore carpet, 7 years of kids and its a tad dingy) They're really cute right? They are unbelievably soft on the inside and ugly in the best possible way. I like to wear them with leggings. They are actually slippers to be fair. I got them as a gift when I was recovering from my c-section. It was supposed to get cold last night so I decided to wear them because they are cozy. Let me explain to you why that's a problem.


I work nights at a Residential Treatment Center for girls. I really like it. I wish I got to see the girls more, but my job consists of watching them sleep for the most part. It always makes me think of the Fight Club line when Tyler Durden says "We guard you while you sleep. Do not... fuck with us. "

Most of them are very sweet, but some can be a real handful. And some are both all at the same time. Of course, due the nature of my job, I can't give out lots of details about residents. I can explain a little bit though.


We are not in the best part of town. I have heard things that I'd like to pretend were fireworks in the middle of the night. And the girls tend to act out, and sometimes that includes running off campus. If it happens in the middle of the night, there isn't much I can do, except call the cops. During the day, we would follow them, try and convince them to come back, or if they're a danger to themselves or others we would have to restrain them. (We're all trained to do this safely of course) We've had people pull over thinking we're hurting the girls. You can imagine driving down the road and seeing a 12 year old being held by two grown men. I would stop too!

Focus! On school mornings I get to see them while helping them get ready for school. Usually fairly uneventful, just rudeness and redirecting for the most part. Not this morning though. The first resident walked off and then while we were convincing her to come back, the second one ran out the back door and set off the alarm. I have never had to deal with this situation. I am unprepared. I get the door relocked and go after her so she doesn't run into the street. This is where appropriate footwear would have been essential. I had to run while my shoes were slipping off me and of course they have no traction. Oh and none of my clothes fit so I'm trying to hold up my pants at the same time. I also forgot a walkie to report back with. I am useless basically. Luckily another staff came and helped. Both are back and safe, just trying to deal with their anger and pain by acting out. Its hard enough being a teenager without having the added pressure that they have.

So, note to self, wear real shoes to work from now on. Oh and lose enough weight to stop wearing my belly band, so my pants just fit right. One thing at a time.

Happy Weekend (its my weekend anyway. ;)

Nobody got enough sleep

I work nights. I work 10 hour shifts for four days a week. I started working nights because we were unhappy with our child care situation and couldn't afford anything better. So my husband works during the day and I work at night. I've always kind of liked working at night. I worked nights in high school at Whataburger. That was a lot of fun, just two of us and bored out of our minds! We were dead after the bars closed and the drunks wobbled home. I've also worked nights at a couple bakeries. The bread has to be ready first thing in the morning.

I am back at work and trying to get back into the niche. I miss my husband and the girls when I'm here and I have yet to figure out the best way to sleep. I use to sleep when Pea slept, but now I have to get two girls sleeping at the same time. Also I get grumpy when I'm tired and don't want to take that out on the girls. They don't deserve it. I'll get all of us into a routine again. Just takes time. Luckily two mornings out of my workweek are my husband's days off so I get to sleep uninterrupted on those days. But then I feel bad because I want to spend time with him. We're planning on me staying nights until Pea goes to preschool, which is this upcoming school year. (Oh be still my heart, dropping my baby off with strangers, but that's a whole different post)


I read recently that people who work nights are sleep deprived. Even if you get 8 hours of sleep in the day your body still doesn't function right. Humans sleep at night and are awake during the day, its how we're built. Also it can cause depression (which I can attest to it, at least worsening it) And it causes weight gain. So that's the problem, my job. Not my dietary and exercise habits. Woo, can get rid of that guilt now and blame it on my job. Good.


Anyway, guess I will get back to my job. I'll tell you about it later. Happy Monday!


"Nobody likes their job, nobody got enough sleep. So you just had the worst day of your life. Just suck up and be nice" -Ani Difranco
(I like my job, but when I complain I always think of this song)

Dog Butts

These are just a couple of out there things that I've come across that I want. Aren't they cute! Salt and pepper shakers. Its okay that they shake out of their little butts. CSNstores

How funny would these be in your friends drinks. They look like little frozen dentures.
Wow cool stuff

Fantastic! And we want to do our kitchen in red. Wouldn't this little guy look great?

Think Geek

Okay I don't want this. This is a towel dispenser, out of its butt. That is not okay.

Perpetual Kid

Contests!

At Chronically Vintage they are having a giveaway! She's in cahoots with LA Vintage, a fantastic website that caters to people with a 50's fetish all the way up to the 80's. You can find out the rules by clicking on the picture to the left. One of them is to repost the contest...obviously ;)

But even if she wasn't having a contest I would send people over to her because she's a great read, with beautiful photographs, fine writing and some inspiration thrown in for good measure. So check her out either way. And have a great weekend.

picture from Jen's site

Unintended

I have been out because our Internet wasn't working and our Internet company was taking their sweet time to fix it. I'm not gonna name any names, we'll just call them...TA&A. That's a good one, no one will ever figure that out. Anyway you can all stop worrying.

The Mean Reds.

I've been having the mean reds lately. It probably has to do with all the time spent at home during maternity leave. But I've been feeling pretty lame. Guess I'll go eat worms.

I'm definitely feeling lumpy and frumpy because of the baby weight and that only elastic pants fit. And don't tell me, then do something about it. My husband and I are both following our diabetic diet (okay sometimes there's chocolate, but do you want me to go crazy? You do not.) And I've also been exercising 30 minutes a day. Gilad and Billy Blanks are my best buds. They give me hugs.

Usually its a helpful thing that my in-laws live with us. But sometimes its just hard. Grandma's sick, I know that. But I get frustrated with how things are done sometimes. We have to shut our door if they are going to bed. But when I come home from working a 10 hour night shift that's when they decide to watch Jurassic Park on there giant TV with their surround sound. With their door open and my room is right above their living room. The walls literally vibrate. (sigh) And today we were wrestling with Pea and she was being loud. She's three, we were tickling her, she gets loud. So Grandma instead of asking us to keep her quiet she yells at her that she needs to be quiet! Please don't yell at my kid. We're not allowed to yell at yours. The 14 yr old actually got in my face and mad dogged me the other day when I was trying to get past him. But that's okay.

So I confronted her and now they are ignoring me. My husband went and talked to them and defended me because he's awesome and agreed with me.

He's really the only thing that makes the mean reds go away. The girls help, but its hard on the weekends when I'm like. "Share." "Stop yelling at each other" "Don't be mean to your sister" "Okay I'm just going to throw the toy away" Ahhhhh. Until my Sugarpants (yes food nicknames) gets home and we can tag team the craziness. Pea told Peanut to stop being an asshole. I tried not to laugh while admonishing her. I am totally the one to blame for her potty mouth. I can just imagine Kindergarten. "Ummm..your daughter called the teacher an asshole today"

"Well were you being an asshole to her?"

Also the potty training. We're pretty good with number one. But oh the stinkies! She had an accident today. But don't worry. She took care of it, she informs me. Her new panties are on sideways, her waist in the leg hole. There is stepped in poop on the bathroom floor and poop filled panties in the dirty laundry to fish out and empty into the toilet.

And poor Bliss, she apparently because of her nose has acid reflux. She's a little old lady. So she throws up....a lot. And lately its been.... chunky, like the milk went bad and then she threw it up. Because regular vomit isn't enough. And it comes out her nose. She just looks so pathetic. She also had diarrhea yesterday. She leaked on Daddy. And the other night I had just changed her and laid her back down. Then I lay back down and I hear her fussing and talking to herself. I ignore her for a little bit waiting to see if she calms down. She doesn't. I get up to find that she has pooped in her diaper and then kicked it off. Like she said "Oh you're gonna ignore me huh? I'll just do it myself!" Her appointment is in a week, so hopefully we can get her breathing, vomiting, acidy thing figured out. Cross your fingers.

Thanks for letting me vent. Sorry for all the body fluids in my post. I am now going to read all your blogs. Its a healthy coping skill..right right? Just waiting for my hubby to get off work so he can make me feel better. He is so much better then Breakfast At Tiffany's. I might watch that when the butt goes to bed.

P.S. Spell check told me Sugarpants was spelled wrong. hehe.

P.P.S I wrote this before the internet went out. Mean Reds all gone. ;)

Hopping down the Bunny Trail

I have always wanted to be a Playboy Bunny. Not the kind that gets naked in the center. But the waitresses in the club. I saw the movie with Kirstie Alley, A Bunny Tale when I was like 11 and was fascinated. It's about a journalist who goes undercover to write an expose. Its based on an article written by Gloria Steinem. I'm pretty sure that the movie made you not want to be one. But all my chubby 11 year old self saw was glamour.

That's right. I wanted to be a glamorous..waitress. My dreams were lofty. Look it used to be just sixty cents. I don't know how much it cost now, but I bet way more then that!

And Debbie Harry was a bunny. So it can't be all bad.

There's no crying in blogging!

The original Peaches and their movie counterparts



Silly me, of course there's crying in blogging. I've been crying all day reading The Adventures of Fred and Ethel's posts about her daughter getting married. I will have to do this three times! Holy cow. I will be a complete mess.



You know where there is no crying? In baseball, that's where. There is no crying in baseball. Tom Hanks told me so.



I watched A League of Their Own the other day. I've actually had a craving to watch it because randomly my husband and I have been quoting it at each other. It has some amazing one liners. I owned it on tape when I was a kid and watched it so many times, I knew it by heart. I remember trying to pretend like I hadn't heard Jimmy Dugan call the referee "A penis with a little hat on" when my dad was in the room. "Oh ho hum...look at the threading in the carpet. la la la la" I did the same thing during Tampax commercials.

My favorite character is All the Way Mae. I love the seen at the Suds Bucket. God I wish I could dance. Played by Madonna, but you totally forget its her. She has fantastic chemistry with Rosie O Donnell.



One think my husband and I randomly quote at each other is "Marla Hooch....What a hitter." With her waving about 50 feet from the camera. Also Jon Lovitz has some of the best zingers. "You see, the way it works is the train moves not the station" when Marla is hesitant to get on the train.



I cry at the end when you see that Jimmy Dugan has passed and when you find out Evelyn has too. And you see Stillwell Angel all grown up. Every part of this movie makes me happy. Go watch it again. And if you haven't seen it, what is wrong with you? "I would like it if you could work on that before next season."

Also I almost forgot, at Lisa Freemont Pages she found a website that lets you convert money from whatever year you want to now. In the movie he says they would make 75.00 a week. The movie was set in 1943. The calculator says that today they would be paid 939.00. A week. I wish!

"You do wish!" Okay sorry no more quotes.

It's a Parade!

Hey look I've joined a parade! Not a real one though because I am unbelievably clumsy and I'm sure I would trip and hold up the parade. One float would crash into another. It would be anarchy!




No, no. I've joined a Blog Parade! I learned about it from Jen at Woolgatherings. She's part of the parade but either way you should check her out because she's a fantastic writer. It was started by Abigail at Rear Window, who I've never read before. So see I'm already making new friends. Basically you add yourself to the link up, then post a blog answering some fun questions. Hopefully find some new blogs to get absorbed in and burn the peas on the stove and make the house smell awful! (true story.) If your interested its from march 1-8. Go here to link up.

And on to the questions. I know you are breathless with excitement. Make sure you don't have anything on the stove.

1. What's your favorite time of the day, and why?

It depends on the day. I work nights, so I really like the moment right before dawn, where the sky lightens, but is isn't light out yet, especially on cold mornings. There's just a hush on the world that makes me feel nostalgic. When I'm off I love evenings to hang out with my family and love on them.

2. If health wasn't an issue, what food could you live off of?

Please don't make me pick one food. I love food. Soups, stews, anything covered in a sauce, different kinds of cheeses, dark chocolate, tea. If health (or weight) wasn't an issue, all I would do is eat.

3. If you could have one wish granted (besides wishing for more wishes), what would it be?

For my daughters to always be healthy and happy, no matter what decisions they make or decisions I made during raising them.

4. What's one thing that you get teased about a lot?

I am very scatterbrained. Almost to the point that people where I could be labeled as ditsy. Sad but true. I can't find anything. I only know where my driver's license is right now because its in my husbands wallet, he took the responsibility of keeping track of it away from me because I have had to replace it a million times. He always teases me about sticking it to my forehead. and see above about the peas. ;)

5. If you could choose one movie, book, or TV show to spend your life in, which would you pick? What type of character would you be?

A zombie movie, my all time favorite kind of movie. I would be the bad ass, but sexy, heroine who saves the day with her rifle, then leads the rest of the survivors in rebuilding civilization.

6. If you could have one talent that you don't already have, what would it be?

I've always wished I could dance. I am a terrible dancer, its pretty embarrassing. What sucks more is my husband is a fantastic dancer! I'd love to go out with him and bust out. But in five years he's only seen me dance once and it was on our second date.

7.If money were no object, where would you go on vacation?

I'm gonna steal Jen's answer, a different place every month. Depending on the seasons. During spring, Paris, during winter Jamaica. ect. ect.

8. If you were an awesome singer, which genre would you sing?

For singing I guess I would want to be haunting and sultry, like Souxsie. But if I couldn't sing (which I can't) I would be in a hardcore chick band and be all guttural and scream.

9. If you could have a $10,000 shopping spree to one store, what would it be?

Book People, in Austin. (they sell food and gifts too so its kind of a cheat ;) Or our mortgage company is my sensible and boring answer. ;)

10. If you could live in any point in time, when would it be?

So many. I love the 40's and 50's for their fashion and the Hollywood heyday, but would I want to be a woman back then? They didn't have it so great. I'd also like to have been a hippie. At the beginning of the 60's, not when it became a drugged out caricature of itself near the end.

11. If every outfit in your wardrobe had to be one color, what would it be?

A different shade of red.

12. If you were one of the seven dwarves, which one would you be?(Doc, Grumpy, Sneezy, Sleepy, Bashful, Happy, or Dopey)

mmmm dopey was always my favorite, but depending on my character traits I would probably be Grumpy.

13. What's the last album you listened to?

Bloc Party -Intimacy

14. What's something we'd be surprised to know about you?
I don't know, what surprises anyone now a days. I like listening to Megadeth, some days you just need some anger and speed metal in your life.

Thanks for reading, and I hope you join the parade and find new cyber-friends!

One Last Thing. (Brainwash 5)

Generations before mine can tell you exactly where they were when JFK was shot. It was a moment in history that people just don't forget. I guess I can tell you where I was. I was hanging out in my mom's ovaries. Not even a thought. So see everyone can tell you where they were on that day.

JFK and Jackie arriving in Dallas.
Another date that everyone, including my generation and younger, can tell you where they were on is September 11, 2001. Its the new Kennedy Assassination. You just mention it and people will launch into their stories of where, and how they felt that day.

This old ad from the 70's struck a chord

I graduated basic training on October 11, 2001. I was a little over half way through when 9/11 happened.

That day we were doing yard work at an administration building. Just busy work and manual labor. Always had to keep us moving. I heard some of the other soldiers say they'd heard that a car blew up in front of the White House. That's how the news trickled down, I guess. We weren't allowed access to television and we were only allowed to read the Sunday newspaper and had to throw it away before Monday. So we were in a pretty thick bubble by this point. Our news came from eavesdropping and overhearing things. (I was also in when Aaliyah died and we didn't find out for a week, and it had to be confirmed by a drill sergeant) I didn't pay much attention already use to the rumor mill and how it got out of hand. Also I was too busy pretending to work, but really just hanging out in the sun. It was a beautiful day on Fort Jackson. When the day ended they started taking us back to the barracks in small groups. I was part of the last group to go back. The drill sergeant gathered us around and said that even though he was told not to tell us that he felt like we deserved to know. He let us know that two planes had flown into the World Trade Center, and another into the pentagon. I don't think he was aware of flight 93. To be honest I didn't actually know what the WTC was, but I understood that this was serious. I look back and realize how strange it was that it happened so early in the morning but we didn't find our until the afternoon. The country was going crazy and we had no clue at all.

Fort Jackson is a very big and busy base. Many people work and live on it. But on our way back to the barracks it was empty. It was 5 o clock, rush hour and everything was eerily quiet. Just the sound of the Humvee. At every stop sign an armed soldier would check the drivers id and check on us in the back. It was pretty unerving. That night at dinner I passed by the room where the drill sergeants ate and had a TV. All I saw before being moved forward was a lot of smoke and blue sky on the news. Really, until a year later on the one year anniversary that's all I really saw. I watched the news programs on that day obsessively, trying to get rid of the feeling that I had missed something a year earlier.

People would always ask me if I knew what was going on, when I would call home. I assured them that I probably knew less then they did. They wanted us in the bubble. And after living on numerous Army bases and being married to a soldier as well, that doesn't change when you get out of Basic. I'll always feel like I didn't really experience 9/11 with other Americans. I couldn't even call my family for a couple of days. They lived in Texas so I knew they were okay, but I wanted to talk to them as a touchstone, to ground myself.

Our drill sergeant flat out told us we were going to war. This caused some of my fellow soldiers to decide they didn't want to be soldiers anymore. Some pretended to be crazy, threatening suicide or hearing voices. One girl when the drill sergeants would tell her to "beat her face" (a meaner way of telling you to do push ups) she would get on the concrete and literally start beating her face against the ground. I prayed they would get her out before we did weapons training! Another one said he was Buddhist and didn't believe in war. ummmm...what exactly did you think the army did? Dumbass. When you wanted out they called it "Failure to Adapt" Its not honorable or dishonorable. Its just a discharge. But it does not look good on a resume. And the army of course drags their feet doing the paperwork to get you out. You go to another barracks that is full of just people trying to get out. And you wait. Some of the people who were trying to get out had to serve us lunch on our graduation day. It just didn't make sense to me. Its not like I wanted to go to war, far from it. But you'd gone through so much bullshit and the hard stuff was over, you were just going to quit and still not get to go home for months? Who am I to judge? But I do anyway.

I was lucky and never got called up to go. My ex-husband got sent to Kuwait, and met a girl there (another soldier, not a Kuwaiti;) and told me he wanted a divorce through instant message. But that's a whole different story.


Thanks for indulging me in my little trip. It was kind of cathartic to write it out. So thanks for reading.

picture by Banksy