On Memorial Day

Remember. 

This picture kills me every time. The night before the burial of her husband’s body, a pregnant Katherine Cathey refused to leave the casket, asking to sleep next to his body for the last time. The Marines made a bed for her, tucking in the sheets below the flag. Before she fell asleep, she opened her laptop computer and played songs that reminded her of ‘Cat,’ and one of the Marines asked if she wanted them to continue standing watch as she slept. “I think it would be kind of nice if you kept doing it,” she said. “I think that’s what he would have wanted.”

Lt. Cathey coming home. via

No matter how you feel about the war, the troops deserve our support. The troops and their family are what Memorial Day is about. By all means, have a great day and enjoy your day off. But just take a moment to remember what it actually means.

This website has a few more pictures to remind you. Just in case you thought it was National Barbecue Day.

Your Rights and Affirmations

These are your basic rights and affirmations, as taught to me. Own them and embrace them.

You have the right to feel safe.

You have the right to be respected and not to be hurt or abused.

You do not have to punish yourself because others have hurt you.

You have a right to be angry or upset, and to have those feelings heard.

You do not have to justify yourself to others.

Other people's judgements are based on their own fear and limitations. You are coping the best way you know how.

Others do not have to like what you do. We each have our own way of coping.

You have the right to own your body and be in control of what happens to it. You also own your feelings and are responsible for how you deal with them.

You are not responsible for how other people deal with their feelings.

You have the right to express you distress and given the things that have happened in your life, you should be congratulated for having found a way of surviving. 

You are the expert in your own life. No one else knows your reality and what you feel and need for yourself.

You have the right to want attention and to ask for support. Realize that people can't always give you the support you need, but it is not a rejection of you as a person.

You have the right to want a lot of support during difficult times. 

 What is your daily affirmation?

Happy Geek Pride Day!

Happy Mother's Day!

Superhero

My kind of super hero.

The Future

Fat Kids Club

Have you ever thought:

"You know what would make this dish of food better? If I could squeeze bacon all over it. Putting actual bacon on it wouldn't do it justice, I want to smear bacon goo all over it." 

Then, my friend, welcome to the Fat Kids Club. 

My usual club contribution is deciding that a fried egg will make most things better. 

What's your F(at)K(ids)C(lub) moment?

Being Present for My Children

My kids are amazing. Not to brag but I'm totally bragging.  They are smart, funny and constantly surprise me with their world view. Sweet Pea very earnestly told me yesterday that she hates traffic. "It's pointless, you have to wait for someone else who is stopped for no reason and then you have to stop for no reason!" Yeah, she's five. And she didn't get that from me, my thoughts on traffic are usually a few cuss words and banging on the steering wheel. 

So why don't I hang out with them more? I watch a lot of netflix. My husband calls them my "Stories." And I get frustrated when the girls interrupt or talk too loud during one of my stories. And then I huff about not hearing and now I missed something super vital to the plot. Something vital like, a girl is acting stupid over a guy and since everyone on the show refuses to communicate in any kind of sane way wacky hijinx ensue. Yeah, real vital. 

I've started realizing that I am running out of time. They are getting older and wiser. That window of time where they think I am the best person in the whole world who can do no wrong is rapidly shrinking. They will be teenagers soon and they won't want to have anything to do with me. I have to remind myself that television shows and long books will still be there later. But my babies won't. 

If I put them second too many times, soon they will stop coming to me. Mommy isn't interested so why bother. I am turning off the TV and I am listening to my children. I will be more upset that I have missed something vital from them then any fake drama. 

And hey, when they are tweens and are highly embarrassed and want nothing to do with me. I can comfort myself with netflix then. But I will always be there to put the remote down and listen. To focus on them when they need me. But that has to start now. 

What is your biggest struggle as a parent?